To Bill
On a clear tropic night in summer,
On a clear tropic night in summer,
from the deck of a trailer-sailor in the Gulf,
away from the lights of crowded cities,
away from the lights of crowded cities,
we saw the sky crowded with stars of all sizes
and a small white satellite going over.
We were happy together, again, that summer.
It wasn't your fault that the stars never shone
so thick and bright again, and we lost sight
of that vast heaven. A seafaring man,
you were never meant to come to rest on land,
clumsily flapping about and struggling for breath.
The 6th prompt for 'Poems in April' at 'imaginary garden with real toads' is Seeing Stars
the stars never shone
ReplyDeleteso thick and bright again...
This contains all the wealth and remorse of memory.
Oh, I love this, especially:
ReplyDelete"It wasn't your fault that the stars never shone
so thick and bright again"
I love "the stars never shone so thick and bright again". So poignant. Such a wonderful description of a seafaring man on land "flapping about and struggling for breath".
ReplyDeleteSuch beauty. Sorrow and joy and longing.
ReplyDeletethe surprise ending is so skilfully introduced, the sadness is over taken by brillance in craft
ReplyDeletethanks for dropping in to read mine
much love...
Just a wonderful close--one feels the man is a bit like an albatross--or really some underwater creature--out of sorts--a little like one of those constellations one tries to see as a shape. Thanks--and thanks for your suggestion also re my poem. k.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking particularly of a landed fish. My late second husband, Bill, was an abalone diver so his seafaring was not only on boats but also underwater.
DeleteI was thinking consciously of how the inevitable retirement from that work before he was really old didn't suit him. (But it's not work you can do too long.) Just realised the unconscious was involved too - remembering that he died of a heart attack while crewing for another diver.
DeleteAch! This broke my heart! Beautiful, tragic and wistful. Loved this. - Mosk
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you! Don't take it amiss if I say I am so chuffed to have broken your heart with this! (For me it was a very long time ago.)
DeleteOh wow...this ending surprised me and the view of stars in true dark stunning...great write, Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteRosemary,
ReplyDeleteThis is quite a piece of work! Absolutely remarkable... beautifully executed.
xoxo
www.adashofsunny.com
Oh, this is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteYou have me wanting to go back outside, Rosemary. To view the stars again. We live in a fairly dark area and the stars display quite nicely. What you told is how this land lubber feels.
ReplyDeleteNow I wish I had told of my feelings. Mine tonight doesn't hold much interest, a bad decision.
..
"the stars never shone
ReplyDeleteso thick and bright again" So melancholy and yet you shared a moment like no other before or after. What a gift. Beautiful
the sailor's wife's lament... ~
ReplyDeleteI like the pairing of bright stars at sea with the relationship. Lovely, Rosemary.
ReplyDelete