Thin Cries

heavy rains 

and me all alone 

without you

all my tears unheard

in that louder storm

Notes:

Title:
I play on the name of this new form,

created by the inventive, innovative

Magaly Guerrero: Thinner Tanka.

Line 1:

I call on nature 

I call on my home

I call on the truth of now.

Lines 2 and 3:

Not only alone

in the storm (has she cover?) –

more alone without

that one, longed-for lover!

Lines 4 and 5:
Tears go unheard

by the one they mourn,

not merely drowned

by the flooding storm.

Arising simultaneously from a prompt by Kerry O'Connor: Literary Excursions ~ Annotations at 'imaginary garden with real toads', in which the annotations are necessary to and even part of the poem, and a conversation on facebook with Magaly Guerrero about innovations to traditional forms. (She was thinking about trying a 'thinner tanka' with reduced syllable count of 3/5/3/5/5, and I couldn't resist the idea.  Dear Magaly, I hope it isn't mean of me to leap in ahead of you – if indeed I have – and I hope you don't mind me 'outing' you as creator of this kind of tanka!)