Interior forest: morning.
Tim is eight.
Walking through the forest
he falls, cries out.
A tiny fairy alights.
They talk in a new way
instantly.
She is in his garden.
The dVerse prompt at present is to do a 'blackout' poem. This is my second attempt, using the first section of a practice pitch my late husband, Andrew E Wade, did for his children's novel Jorell, when he was in a screen writers' group. (Jorell was already published as a book but never became a movie.) Below is the original, with and without blackouts:
Interior
Forest: morning
Tim
Simons is eight years old. Since he was five he has been obsessed with the ambition of
seeing a fairy.
On this particular morning Tim is walking through the forest and fails to see a hole in the path. His foot gets caught in it. He falls, twisting his ankle, and cries out in pain.
A
tiny fairy, curious about the noise this human
is making, alights on a mushroom near his
foot. Tim looks up and is startled
by the sight of her. He leans closer.
“Far out!” he
exclaims, “Are you real?”
“Yes, b-but you’re not supposed to…humans can’t see
fairies.”
They
continue to talk but in a new way – by exchanging thoughts.
Now Tim asks Jorell if he can see her again. “Just
call me,” she says, “and I’ll come.”
But Tim doesn’t. Jorell wonders where he is, and with her
power to be anywhere instantly she is in his garden. Tim is
seated with his head in his hands and a grey cloud swirling around his head.
“Tim!” she says loudly. Tim takes no notice. Jorell
flies above him and drops a cloud of fairy dust. Tim springs to life, sees
Jorell and tells her to go away.
He’s angry. He’d asked his dad about fairies and his dad says fairies
are in books not real life.
JORELL
Interior
Forest: morning
Tim
Simons is eight years old. Since he was five he has been obsessed with the
ambition of seeing a fairy.
On
this particular morning Tim is walking through the forest and fails to see a
hole in the path. His foot gets caught in it. He falls, twisting his ankle, and
cries out in pain.
A
tiny fairy, curious about the noise this human is making, alights on a mushroom
near his foot. Tim looks up and is
startled by the sight of her. He leans closer.
“Far
out!” he exclaims, “Are you real?”
“Yes,
b-but you’re not supposed to…humans can’t see fairies.”
They
continue to talk but in a new way – by exchanging thoughts.
Now
Tim asks Jorell if he can see her again. “Just call me,” she says, “and I’ll
come.”
But
Tim doesn’t. Jorell wonders where he is, and with her power to be anywhere
instantly she is in his garden. Tim is seated with his head in his hands and a
grey cloud swirling around his head.
“Tim!”
she says loudly. Tim takes no notice. Jorell flies above him and drops a cloud
of fairy dust. Tim springs to life, sees Jorell and tells her to go away. He’s angry. He’d asked his dad about
fairies and his dad says fairies are in books not real life.
Jorell suggests Tim start a garden and
all the fairies will help. Tim asks his dad if he can start a veggie garden and
gets the ok.
