the child listening
to the flower with closed eyes
doesn’t know he’s dead
already and the flower
also dead whispers of life
For Day 7 of April Poetry Month at 'imaginary garden with real toads', Let's Paint a Picture, we are invited to write a tanka on a painting by Kaoro Kawano.
The image is from WikiArt and is used according to Fair Use Principles.
I usually don't worry about strict syllable count for tanka and do worry about other traditions; this time it's rather the opposite.
I wanted the small ambiguities (which may be too small to be seen!).
Yes, I was thinking of the children's deaths in Syria – but I am sadly sure they would not have been so gentle as my poem implies.
This is so moving, Rosemary. I immediately visualized the twins held in their father's arms, perfect in every way, but never to flower.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
PS. Just a note, Rosemary. Your font is very tiny, I struggled to make out some of the words.
DeleteThanks, Kerry. Someone else recently remarked that too. Obviously it doesn't look so to me. Some other blogs do, which is a wee bit irritating, and then I use the 'zoom in' viewing option on my computer, or the enlarging finger gesture on my iPad. But perhaps not all devices have these options. I'll try a different font and size.
DeleteIt's an image that conjures up other-worldliness for me and your Tanka succeeds in echoing that in it's form.
ReplyDeleteReally fine take on the challenge and the painting. A golden nail for that coffin.
ReplyDeleteSo poignant and lovely. One hopes the flower's whispers comforted the child.
ReplyDeleteIt's terrible that I didn't have to read your note to know where the emotions were coming from. I think, today, most thinking hearts can't escape this latest horror.
ReplyDeleteTheir passing might not have been gentle, but that will never stop us from wishing peace for their souls (and, eventually, for us).
Such a poignant write, Rosemary
ReplyDeleteI was dead as a child (abused) until a teacher {a flower) called.
ReplyDeleteOh, my. That flower as lips, whispering of death and life to a child. Whew. This is powerful, Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteO. This suits the day, the awful day we have "taught them a lesson." Ha! There is only death and dying. Plucked.
ReplyDeletefine, fine pen, Rosemary ~
ReplyDeleteMoving and very eloquent.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I am sad knowing their passing was likely not so gentle, and angry that it happened at all.
ReplyDeleteWhat gentle things in life to evoke such a powerful poem. Sadness and horror are sweeping the world.
ReplyDeleteThis goes straight to my heart. It is sad, but yet so beautiful.
ReplyDelete