The quiet morning
is full of light.
If I go out into the air with you,
even though I come back alone
I shall be full of the noises
of other people: cacophony
of trying to be happy
away from the silence of being.
You, though, do all things
to make others bloom into joy.
I shall go to meet you,
as if carrying roses.
as if carrying roses.
Mini-challenge, from 'imaginary garden with real toads': to write in the style of Jane Hirshfield. I wonder if I have succeeded?
This is a gorgeous poem.. loved the soothing effect of the lines...
ReplyDeleteBeautifully penned..! :D
Lots of love
xoxo
Oh yes, certainly it is Rosemary! And there are lots of other things that carry weight in sharing one's loneliness! Wonderful thoughts!
ReplyDeleteHank
I love the ending lines - simple yet full of joy:
ReplyDeleteYou, though, do all things
to make others bloom into joy.
I shall go to meet you,
as if carrying roses.
Thanks for participating & wishing you happy weekend ~
Oh, how i love this! I resonate with "the silence of being", and applaud that you will go to meet the person "as if carrying roses". Brilliant.
ReplyDelete"cacophony of other people" and those last two lines are superb.
ReplyDeleteJoyful cacophony. That's powerful, the guy you found.
ReplyDeleteNice Rosemary. It was there, I swear I found it. A lovely oxymoron.
..
Dear Jim, you may have found an oxymoron, but I didn't find a guy! I did go out with a dear friend, a woman even older than me, because I knew it would please her and she does a lot for me and others. Reward: I had a great time!
DeleteIt works that way. Mostly just to have some compatible company. I am glad for you.
Delete..
I really love the ending, such a wonderful ending, the use of silence and noise as contrasts is very efficient too.
ReplyDeleteI shall be full of the noises
ReplyDeleteof other people: cacophony
of trying to be happy
away from the silence of being.
Rosemary this speaks to me with a megaphone. This is where I live but the ending is one I am learning to serve. This is so eloquent in its simplicity
The simplicity of these almost-statements that turn into a sort of allegory gives a dream feel to a message that is quite real.
ReplyDeleteThis is just a lovely poem, Rosemary--it makes me think of loss actually--in a poignant and beautiful way. Thanks. k.
ReplyDeleteInteresting, you always challenge my imagination (creatively). Thanks :-)
ReplyDeleteZQ
You have succeeded in droves, Rosemary. I feel this is completely in keeping with Jane's style...you've captured that essence of feeling that she has in her writing...that inexplicable quality that moves the heart with feeling. Really beautiful write here.
ReplyDeletestellar ~
ReplyDeleteOh wow...Rosemary!! There's so much to gain in insights from this poem...the closing reminds me of the Rumi piece With That Moon Language...profound work indeed!
ReplyDelete"You, though, do all things
ReplyDeleteto make others bloom into joy."
This is someone I wish I could be.
Such a lovely piece.