I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world, to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')

These poems are works in progress and may be updated without notice. Nevertheless copyright applies to all writings here and all photos (which are either my own or used with permission). Thank you for your comments. I read and appreciate them all, and reply here to specific points that seem to need it — or as I have the leisure. Otherwise I reciprocate by reading and commenting on your blog posts as much as possible.

5 April 2016

Night, Rain ...

A shimmer, white
against the pane,
at the edge of sight …

Might
it come again,
shimmering, white?

Faint, not bright:
drifting rain
at the edge of sight

dims the light
to a mere stain,
a shimmer of white

pale on the night –
a hidden pain
past the edge of sight.

I seek to deny it,
refuse to entertain
that shimmer of white,
at the edge of sight.


April Poetry Month, day 5. Tuesday Platform at 'imaginary garden with real toads': any topic, with the option (which I took) of writing a villanelle.

The topic is inspired by the latest quadrille prompt at dVerse, to use the word 'shimmer', But I couldn't fit my villanelle into a quadrille, no matter how economical with words I tried to be.

28 comments:

  1. I love the mystical feel of this entire piece :D
    Beautifully written.

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  2. that shimmer of white,
    at the edge of sight"... gives me goosebumps.

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  3. I was captivated by your terse lines and tight imagery. How well you brought it all together at the end.

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  4. This is so well done! Beautiful, Rosemary.

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  5. I've seen that ghost before!

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  6. I can see the shimmer... Great imagery, Rosemary. I love that the poem made me look and look for "that shimmer of white".

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  7. The poem is beautiful. But, practical me, I worry if you have seen the eye doctor recently. I worry. (I get arcing orbs and peripheral lights). I am rather hoping the shimmering thing is a ghost, instead of an ocular event.

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  8. Lovely imagery, I enjoyed this so much.

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  9. Love it, Rosemary. The flight attendant thought I was crazy when I borrowed her back window to take a picture of the International Date Line as we crossed. It was pitch dark outside.
    ..

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  10. O I love this way of doing a Villanelle.... maybe it's 44 words as well...?

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    1. I did start off trying to make it 44 words, but I just couldn't get a coherent poem and also have a villanelle. With so many other things to do in April, I'll skip this week's quadrille. There'll be others.

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    2. But yes, that's where the shimmer came from.

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  11. Intriguing, that shimmer of white. I like poems that make me think.

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  12. This is so beautiful. I like it very much.

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  13. Really lovely--I am not used to Villanelles with the short lines. You make it work; vivid and musical. k.

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  14. but a valiant attempt nonetheless ~

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  15. The repetitive use of 'shimmer' adds a distinct, sparkling thread throughout the poem. It becomes a symbol of hope in this subtle progress from light to pain.

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  16. edge of night... that is so pretty and evocotive

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  17. Oh dear I wonder what the shimmer of white is. Intriguing. I love the style.

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  18. I liked the generally two accented syllables per line. I will have to try this shorter line sometime. The description of the shimmering white barely seen makes me wonder what it is through the first five stanzas especially when I hear in the fifth it might be a "hidden pain". The switch in the sixth stanza to trying to deny it makes me sense it is unwelcome but real enough to be the subject of a poem. Very nice villanelle!

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  19. This was a wonderful revisit... love the short lines in a Villanelle.

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  20. I like the mystery of this poem it sent my imagination in a few different directions considering what that shimmer of white might be!

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  21. Mysterious, indeed. Love it! I also enjoyed the shorter lines of your villanelle.

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  22. Love these lines most:

    "dims the light
    to a mere stain,
    a shimmer of white

    pale on the night –
    a hidden pain
    past the edge of sight."
    You've done well by the form!

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