I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world,
to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')

These poems are works in progress and may be updated without notice. Nevertheless copyright applies to all writings here and all photos (which are either my own or used with permission). Thank you for your comments. I read and appreciate them all, and reply here to specific points that seem to need it — or as I have the leisure. Otherwise I reciprocate by reading and commenting on your blog posts as much as possible.

10 January 2015

Scene One

Interior forest: morning.
Tim is eight.
Walking through the forest
he falls, cries out.

A tiny fairy alights.
They talk in a new way
instantly.

She is in his garden.


The dVerse prompt at present is to do a 'blackout' poem. This is my second attempt, using the first section of a practice pitch my late husband, Andrew E Wade, did for his children's novel Jorell, when he was in a screen writers' group. (Jorell was already published as a book but never became a movie.) Below is the original, with and without blackouts:

Interior Forest: morning

Tim Simons is eight years old. Since he was five he has been obsessed with the ambition of seeing a fairy.

On this particular morning Tim is walking through the forest and fails to see a hole in the path. His foot gets caught in it. He falls, twisting his ankle, and cries out in pain.

A tiny fairy, curious about the noise this human is making, alights on a mushroom near his foot.  Tim looks up and is startled by the sight of her. He leans closer.

“Far out!” he exclaims, “Are you real?”
“Yes, b-but you’re not supposed to…humans can’t see fairies.”

They continue to talk but in a new way – by exchanging thoughts.
Now Tim asks Jorell if he can see her again. “Just call me,” she says, “and I’ll come.”

But Tim doesn’t. Jorell wonders where he is, and with her power to be anywhere instantly she is in his garden. Tim is seated with his head in his hands and a grey cloud swirling around his head.

“Tim!” she says loudly. Tim takes no notice. Jorell flies above him and drops a cloud of fairy dust. Tim springs to life, sees Jorell and tells her to go away.  He’s angry. He’d asked his dad about fairies and his dad says fairies are in books not real life.


JORELL

Interior Forest: morning

Tim Simons is eight years old. Since he was five he has been obsessed with the ambition of seeing a fairy.

On this particular morning Tim is walking through the forest and fails to see a hole in the path. His foot gets caught in it. He falls, twisting his ankle, and cries out in pain.

A tiny fairy, curious about the noise this human is making, alights on a mushroom near his foot.  Tim looks up and is startled by the sight of her. He leans closer.

“Far out!” he exclaims, “Are you real?”
“Yes, b-but you’re not supposed to…humans can’t see fairies.”

They continue to talk but in a new way – by exchanging thoughts.
Now Tim asks Jorell if he can see her again. “Just call me,” she says, “and I’ll come.”

But Tim doesn’t. Jorell wonders where he is, and with her power to be anywhere instantly she is in his garden. Tim is seated with his head in his hands and a grey cloud swirling around his head.

“Tim!” she says loudly. Tim takes no notice. Jorell flies above him and drops a cloud of fairy dust. Tim springs to life, sees Jorell and tells her to go away.  He’s angry. He’d asked his dad about fairies and his dad says fairies are in books not real life.

 Jorell suggests Tim start a garden and all the fairies will help. Tim asks his dad if he can start a veggie garden and gets the ok.

17 comments:

  1. Oh, I'd love to meet a fairy and learn to talk in a new way.

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    1. Well, first you have to wish for it very hard ... :)

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  2. Fairies help the garden grow:)

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  3. oh nice... i like how the fairy turns up and talks to him right into his pain in a new way... like a new land

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  4. I've always been a huge fan of high fantasy, and this poem about this little boy really touches how I feel about writing. Writing has always been a way for me to escape from the reality that we live in.

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  5. Wonderful to meet a little fairy on your way,., splendid condensation

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  6. I love this, both versions!!!!!! It must have been a wonderful partnership, you and Andrew - two such talented writers.

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    Replies
    1. And that was only his screen pitch! The actual story was really lovely; I hope to republish it in ebook format one day.

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  7. Love it very much! And how you're developing the story too! Love this new way of talk...

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