I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world, to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')

These poems are works in progress and may be updated without notice. Nevertheless copyright applies to all writings here and all photos (which are either my own or used with permission). Thank you for your comments. I read and appreciate them all, and reply here to specific points that seem to need it — or as I have the leisure. Otherwise I reciprocate by reading and commenting on your blog posts as much as possible.

24 December 2017

Prodigal Friend

I had not looked for him these many years.
It seemed I must resign myself to fate.
Despite a sense of loss, there were no tears,
and certainly no reason to await
a reappearance. No-one reappears –
do they? – after such a lengthy absence,
such an unrelieved and total silence.

Yet here he is, with thanks upon his tongue
for all the truth we shared a decade past –
and suddenly I’m roused, as after long
and peaceful slumber, opening eyes at last ...
awakening to dawn and daylight, song
of early birds crescendoing, and vast
blue skies unfolding to the spreading sun.

Written for the Ottava Rima challenge at Poetic Asides

12 Aug 2018 I've just removed first and last lines, which were banal and unnecessary, so it's no longer a proper Ottava Rima; maybe a truncated one.

4 comments:

  1. I love this poem, Rosemary. Only suggestion I could make to improve it would be to delete the first line and start with "I had not looked for him ..." This is because the title of the poem sets the scene and renders the first line superfluous, plus the second line is absolutely beautiful. <3

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    Replies
    1. Many thanks, Barbara. A most excellent suggestion and I take your points – only that would stop it from being an ottava rima, and to keep to the strict form I'd have to rewrite. I'd need to insert a third-last line with an 'ate' rhyme ending, which would mean rewriting the next line ... all of which is not impossible, and would be an interesting challenge! I might very well give it a go.

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    2. Re-reading this months later, I think the answer would be to chop off both that first line and the last line! Which I shall if I ever publish it. Thank you again.

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