Translitics

A dVerse exercise in homophonic translations, aka translitics, where you translate as best you can the sounds of an unknown language into words of your own.  Although I have done this kind of thing before with results that pleased me, I found this one very testing. 

Original:

Ne-om aminti cândva târziu

de-aceasta întâmplare simpla,

de-aceasta banca unde stam

tâmpla fierbinte lânga tâmpla.

De pe stamine de alun,

din plopii albi, se cerne jarul.

Orice-nceput se vrea fecund,

risipei se deda Florarul.

Polenul cade peste noi,

în preajma galbene troiene

alcatuieste-n aur fin.

Pe umeri cade-ne si-n gene.

Ne cade-n gura când vorbim,

si-n ochi, când nu gasim cuvântul.

Si nu stim ce pareri de rau

ne tulbura, piezis, avântul.

Ne-om aminti cândva târziu

de-aceasta întâmplare simpla,

de-aceasta banca unde stam

tâmpla fierbinte lânga tâmpla.

Visând, întrezarim prin doruri -

latente-n pulberi aurii –

paduri ce ar putea sa fie

si niciodatã nu vor fi.

I had two tries.

Translitic 1: 

(seemed to work better without line-breaks, as a kind of prose-poem) 

Nay, I'm — am! — into "can-do" of a tears-you day, a ceased (ah, in temple are simpler) day, a ceased,  a bank, a (understand, temple) a fire-burnt, a longer (temple, ah!)

deep, a stamina day, alone. Din! Plop! I'll alibi. Sea cure in a jar, you'll, or ice in sea put. Sea very fecund, rise. I pay, sea-dead; a fire are you.

Pole, newel, caddy. Peace! (Tea? No.) I in prayer edge. My gal been a Troy in a all-cat you, lest — eh? — an orphan. Pay America Day, nay sigh in genie.

Naked, e'en guru can dive or be. I'm sighing. Oh gee, canned new gas. I'm cue have, and you sigh new as time seep, are a ride, a row, natal bureau. Please is eventual / a vain tool.

Nay, I'm aiming the candy vat (ah!) as you. Day a cease taint, ample ate simpler, dear cease to ban Kay, understand, ample fire been too long at temple: a

vice and in treasure I'm pry in door, you are I, latent, in pool bury our ill — paid. You are I, see, are putty, as if I is in sea, oh data new have, or fee. 

I'm amused that it came out rather like one of those abstract word-association poems which I am not really into!

Translitic 2:

Nay! O Mam, in’t I can’t have a tear? Is you

de ancestor in temple, a simpler

day, a sistah (ban) say? Understand,

temple fire burnt. A longer temple, ah!

Deep, a stamina day, alone.

Din, plop! Pill. Alibi. Seek, earn; edge or all.

Or ice in seep at sea, very fecund.

Rice I pay, see deed. A flower, annual.

Pole in awl caddy, pest. Eh no, I

in pre-aim, a gal been Trojan eh?

All cat — you, I, is it? — in our fine.

Pay you, me, or I. Caddy? Nay, is I in genie.

Nay caddy, an’ guru can do for be I’m

sighin’, och! I can do new. Gas! I’m curve an’ tall.

See, new. Is it I’m see Pa? Or I de raw

new? Too ill, burrow. Please, is eventual? 

Nay, Oma, mine, tea-canned avatar, as you

de ancestor in temple are simpler,

dear cease to bank a under-steam

temple fire-bin too long at, ampler.

Vice; and in treasure I’m pray and do run —

late in tea and pool bury — or I, I 

paid you. Are I see or put here safe? I

sigh, Nice I, oh daughter, new for if eye.

I can see a story in this weird pidgin or Creole I came up with. I'd like to tease it out later. In fact I'd like to develop both of these into new poems, using the above as foundations only — but pushed for time just now.

For an older and completed example, see next post.