I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world,
to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')


These poems are works in progress, and may be subject to revision without notice. Completed versions appear in my books. Nevertheless copyright applies to all texts found here.

1 August 2014

Paradelle of Love in the Morning

Hold me against your heart.
Hold me against your heart
in falling rain.
In falling rain
against your heart hold me,
rain falling in.

When we awake and stir,
when we awake and stir
in new daylight …
in new daylight
we stir and awake when
new in daylight.

Then we gather roses.
Then we gather roses
fresh with morning.
Fresh with morning,
we gather then roses 
with morning fresh.

Morning, rain falling.
Gather fresh heart.    
Hold me in your new 
against then with in
when we stir daylight awake,
and we roses.


For a dVerse prompt. The paradelle is a joke/hoax by Billy Collins, parodying formal verse. He claimed it originated in France in 11th century Languedoc. Check its strict — and very silly — rules, and/or see what others have done with it, back at dVerse.

21 comments:

  1. I think I should have kept to simple... this works well.

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    1. Ha! I was thinking I should have given myself longer, more complex lines to play with. :)

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  2. Love the two final lines :)

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  3. so cool each morning can be a fresh start

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  4. when we stir daylight awake, and we rose...those are cool lines...and the rest flutters along nicely..i think part of the trick to pulling it off is not getting complex...its almost as if the more you try to show off...the faster the quicksand pulls you down...ha...well played rosemary

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  5. "we stir and awake when / new in daylight."...i love these lines...each day a new life....

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  6. Love the morning, the rain and the gathering. Beautiful, Rosemary.

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  7. Excellent! This flows well....and so naturally. The paradelle form pretty much gets lost in the poem! I like the idea of stirring daylight awake.

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  8. So beautiful - loved ' we stir and awake when new in daylight.' K

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  9. You made something so delicate out of what was meant to be a joke. Very lovely.

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  10. Such sweet and gentle words you make out of it.

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  11. *smile* Your last verse shows an obvious need for substantives! Substantives are not so bad. *smile* If we can "stir daylight awake", they are funny. :-)

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  12. Nice poem. I especially like the last line.

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  13. You did right in making it simple. It is easier to be in control and the result is perfect. Great write Rosemary!

    Hank

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  14. The short lines simplify the big challenge of stanza 4. I agree with Brian; those of us who wrote longer, more complex lines ended up with a full page of words
    to fill our check off list. Actually, as much fun as this faux form was, maybe we should make up more of them.

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    1. I was impressed at how many people wrote really good poems from this exercise.

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  15. I agree with Myrna that you wrote a very delicate poem, Rosemary. Very well-done!

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  16. ooh, I like this. it flows quite nicely and comes together beautifully in the last stanza. I particularly like the line "Hold me in your new."

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  17. Delighted, dear people, that it pleased you all.

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  18. Pleases me too
    two it pleases
    me too...

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