Death comes in
with the salt
at the tavern
in this country
both gentle and sinister
prancing white horses
wave-dancing men
their soft guitars at night
from across the bay
the noises
the bursts of light
mistaken for fireworks
at first
young men
with trembling hands
hard-muscled
young men of the sea
an odour of salt
and blood
death enters into the salt
as the salt enters into the death
in that tavern.
© Rosemary Nissen-Wade 2005
Published Diverse-City 2006 (Anthology of the Austin International Poetry Festival, Texas)
At dVerse we are invited to try homophonic translations (aka translitics). My current - weird! - attempts are in previous post. I'm posting this one to show what can be done with more time. *Smiles*.
(This example is not strictly a translitic, as I did understand some of the words — or thought I did — and used a mixture of translation, translitic and leaps of thought.)
© Rosemary Nissen-Wade 2005
Published Diverse-City 2006 (Anthology of the Austin International Poetry Festival, Texas)
Original:
Malaguena
La muerte
entra y sale
de la taberna.
Pasan caballos negros
y gente siniestra
por los hondos caminos
de la guitarra.
Y hay un olor a sal
y a sangre [de hembra]1,
en los nardos febriles
de la marina.
La muerte
entra y sale
y sale y entra
la muerte
de la taberna.
At dVerse we are invited to try homophonic translations (aka translitics). My current - weird! - attempts are in previous post. I'm posting this one to show what can be done with more time. *Smiles*.
(This example is not strictly a translitic, as I did understand some of the words — or thought I did — and used a mixture of translation, translitic and leaps of thought.)
Yes. The sea is both death and life.
ReplyDeleteIt was written with the Kuta bombings fresh in mind.
DeleteLoved your poem. Kuta is so sleazy now...a version of Nimbin by the sea:)
ReplyDeleteSeminyak is the place . Smiles!!!
Sad what our influence (we tourists) did to a beautiful place. I remember Bali in the seventies, and will not return to see the desecration.
Deleteoh heck...it is sad when a paradise suddenly turns into a zone of destruction... makes my heart bleed...
ReplyDeleteI see what you mean, Rosemary: with more time and thought, this has turned into a beautiful and nuanced poem that is equal to the original. Gorgeous! (Even though the subject is of paradise lost).
ReplyDeleteThe poets able to sing beautifully the happy song as well as sad one. ~ Love it.
ReplyDeleteI love the prancing white horses and wave-dancing men!
ReplyDeleteI admire the imagery of that last stanza ~ Well done ~
ReplyDelete