Oh, I am ice inside, remembering
our love's now merely sad remembering.
My times with you are ghosts. They waver, fade,
although I crave the hard remembering.
I can't retain the past, though I have tried.
Yet what is left beside remembering?
Our warm and melting love now frozen solid,
it's time to put aside remembering.
Everything we said and all we did
is nothing now, mere dead remembering.
It's time. I must accept that you have died —
ah, must I? — nor abide remembering.
That cold word, dead, is loud inside my head.
Remembrance drives me mad ... remembering ...
Submitted for dVerse FormForAll: Ghazal sonnet
and Poets United's Verse First — Icy
Note: It is traditional in a ghazal to use one's own name, pseudonym, or some derivation of the name in the last line. So I'm there, slightly disguised unless you know your Shakespeare.
Note: It is traditional in a ghazal to use one's own name, pseudonym, or some derivation of the name in the last line. So I'm there, slightly disguised unless you know your Shakespeare.
Hi Rosemary,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading ths ghazal, which speaks eloquently of the sense of loss that remains after a loved-one has died.
I put a link in the comments section of Sam's article, but you might think about linking it up on Tuesday/Wednesday (8:00pm GMT Tuesday)for Open Link Night at dVerse too.
Many thanks! Between the time difference and my sometimes dodgy internet access, I dont always make the deadline, but did think I would this time. Good suggestion about Open Link Night.
DeleteAhhh, the fading ....
ReplyDeleteHow painful
How often we must face this
in everything - everything
The mind is not kind
well, except for short spells
May spells of happiness spasm often amidst the deep sense of loss.
Fantastic sharing, thanx.
Thank you for your understanding, your eloquence and your kind wishes!
DeleteRosemary, you have written it as it IS. The icy quality of memories after a death is palpable here. It is sad to have lost that warmth / love in one's life & to have the relationship frozen in time. A fine ghazal-sonnet indeed. Great accomplishment of linking Kim's 'Verse-First' prompt to the dVerse prompt!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mary. I know I am not alone in this experience. I'm glad you think I conveyed it authentically. This form seems to demand something a great deal less understated than my usual tone, so it has taken me a while to get used to my own poem!
DeleteNicely done on the form. Poignantly told Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend. I'm glad you think so.
Deletepoignant and sad while lovely because of your love for each other.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to be told that. Thank you.
DeleteWhat a beautiful ghazal sonnet ~ I like the refrain remembering specially this couplet ~
ReplyDeleteMy times with you are ghosts. They waver, fade,
although I crave the hard remembering.
Yes, do share on Tuesday for OLN ~ See you ~
Thank you. I will!
Delete"Remembering" is a word so full of longing and melancholy, a refrain underscoring the beautiful sadness in this poem. Truly moving, Rosemary, that the form becomes secondary.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sam! I guess, in any poem, I would wish that for the reader the form should become secondary - so I am very complimented that you think so re this one.
DeleteOh Rosemary, there is nothing as hard as grief and loss. Nothing! I love the tone and rhythm of this form - you executed it brilliantly.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteThe Gazal sonnet I find superb. I am kicking myself that I didn't find your site until now. Most remarkable.
ReplyDeleteWell, thank you! Glad you found it now. :)
Delete