I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world, to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')

These poems are works in progress and may be updated without notice. Nevertheless copyright applies to all writings here and all photos (which are either my own or used with permission). Thank you for your comments. I read and appreciate them all, and reply here to specific points that seem to need it — or as I have the leisure. Otherwise I reciprocate by reading and commenting on your blog posts as much as possible.

22 March 2016

Summer is Over

(A Dream of Zanzibar)

Suddenly, fiercely,
ponderous Autumn rains.
The sky churns, vanishes. 
Falling sheets of willowy water.

In humid aftermath
we burn, melt, elongate
on restless crimson couches, fatally alone. 
Night pierces: aromatic, forbidden.

Summer –
I wanted to kiss you
in golden sunlight under blue –
is over.



Dream of Zanzibar (3068173668)

By mwanasimba from La Réunion (Dream of Zanzibar) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Poem written for Quadrille – 5: melt at dVerse. 
Also linking to Poets United's Midweek Motif: Climate
Process Notes:

 I wrote an okay piece about the end of summer and rainy beginning of autumn, but it didn't really say anything new. So I used a tip from Diane Lockward's The Crafty Poet: If a draft's not working, list 12 of your favourite words. Add them to the poem.

 Quite a challenge when you've only got 44 words to play with! But I'm much happier with this result than I was with my first draft. 

 One of my added words was Zanzibar, and the only way I could work it in was by creating a subtitle. I didn't know exactly what that would be until I found the picture.

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30 comments:

  1. Donna@LivingFromHappiness23 March 2016 at 00:15

    I love this draft Rosemary....it gives a sense of the abrupt change in seasons with such powerful words....and your loving lament for summer as it ends is a wonderful way to end it. I love the tip you referenced a s well.

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  2. Grace23 March 2016 at 01:58

    I love how this word challenge made you choose the words carefully ~

    I admire the aromatic and forbidden night ~

    Sadly it is over, but for us here, it is only beginning ~

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  3. brudberg23 March 2016 at 03:03

    I do love the melancholy here.. so different from the joy we fell in the northern hemisphere... the tip of adding favorite words is great.

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  4. Walter J. Wojtanik23 March 2016 at 03:12

    You always seem up to the challenge, Rosemary. It paints quite the scene! Adieu, Summer!

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  5. Sherry Blue Sky23 March 2016 at 04:37

    Very beautiful.

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  6. Susan23 March 2016 at 06:49

    (AND this lovely poem fits this week's midweek Motif!)

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    Replies
    1. Rosemary Nissen-Wade23 March 2016 at 08:52

      So it does, Susan. I'll link. :)

      Delete
    2. Susan23 March 2016 at 23:06

      How happy I am to see this again! And it's strategy for spice.

      Delete
  7. Margaret23 March 2016 at 06:53

    A reminder to not waste sunny days and blue skies.

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  8. Petru J Viljoen23 March 2016 at 07:08

    Loved the poem and thanks for the link. Will pursue it for sure.

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  9. purplepeninportland.com23 March 2016 at 13:49

    A painting, Rosemary. I love this.

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  10. Unknown23 March 2016 at 14:37

    I would like to have a dream of Zanzibar; it looks like your revision paid off.

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  11. rallentanda23 March 2016 at 15:43

    Summer is still here in North West NSW..beautiful swimming weather. Jeez we live in a bonza country, don't we luv!:)

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  12. Unknown23 March 2016 at 17:56

    One of my favourite songs has the following line, "Always the summer's slipping away" Your poem had that melancholic feel and I could truly imagine the lashing storms. Nicely done. :)

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  13. Misky23 March 2016 at 22:55

    Clever use of alliteration in this poem, Rosemary.

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  14. Sherry Blue Sky24 March 2016 at 00:22

    "...on restless crimson couches, fatally alone...." Vivid imagery....I love the closing stanza - a lot.

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  15. Gillena Cox24 March 2016 at 00:34

    luv your draft and the way you used the tip; the result is a fine write

    Happy Wednesday

    much love...

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  16. Sanaa Rizvi24 March 2016 at 00:45

    Gosh! This is absolutely gorgeous writing Rosemary :D
    Beautifully executed :D

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  17. Jae Rose24 March 2016 at 00:53

    Longing to kiss the place we dream of..the time that slips by that we think will stay forever...we are upside down on this side of the hemisphere..i would like to go back out and kiss the frost goodbye..like acknowledging the path we have been given and rarely seem to notice - except you have here..beautifully..

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  18. Carrie Van Horn24 March 2016 at 02:58

    You did great with the challenge Rosemary. Love that last stanza! Beautiful!

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  19. Old Egg24 March 2016 at 07:58

    This is so beautiful. That it's construction came with constraints makes it doubly so.

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  20. Truedessa24 March 2016 at 08:54

    You did such a wonderful job combining the two prompts. I like the falling sheets of willowy water..your use of imagery is wonderful in this piece.

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  21. Matthew Henningsen24 March 2016 at 09:01

    I love how there is so much mystery here, and sadness. A longing. Perhaps for Zanzibar? But I more so think for that feeling of connection that comes with summer. Nice job.

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  22. Bodhirose24 March 2016 at 09:29

    I love the exotic sound of Zanzibar and the aromatic and forbidden night...lovely, Rosemary.

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  23. kaykuala24 March 2016 at 18:58

    Suddenly, fiercely,
    ponderous Autumn rains

    Autumn rains can be vicious. One yearns for other times when they come down hard. Truly said Rosemary!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  24. Carol Campbell25 March 2016 at 01:53

    Powerful write!

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  25. Hannah26 March 2016 at 05:04

    Love the process and the closing portion...works well, Rosemary!

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  26. Katie Mia Frederick5 April 2016 at 05:39

    UniVerse withiN
    foUr seaSons
    more
    insIDe
    WinGs
    spReading
    ouT.. faLL
    SprinGing
    Winters
    Summer
    balance
    liVinG
    asONeNoW..:)

    ReplyDelete

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