She writes long poems which look calmly at pain
as though there is nothing wrong about feeling pain.
The night draws down cold after a day of cloud —
heavy cloud, formed to hold the painful threat of rain.
What night was it she wore that white flower? She forgets —
in any case has no power nor wish to call that pain back again.
Darkness is vast; words lengthen in silence, attenuate.
New shapes cast new meaning, pain slowly made plain.
(Note: I am not she who will write poems many pages long
so as to push back night, at once to confront and deaden pain.)
Playing with form; inspired by the 'quasi-ghazals' of John Calvin Rezmerski and the long poems of Judith Crispin.
Linked to Poets United's Poetry Pantry #366
Playing with form; inspired by the 'quasi-ghazals' of John Calvin Rezmerski and the long poems of Judith Crispin.
Linked to Poets United's Poetry Pantry #366
I think anything can be a subject of poetry. Pain is certainly one of those subjects that we don't often think of when we think of writing a poem. I do agree though, that once one is finished with the pain one has no desire to bring it back again. (And personal aside - thankfully, with time, pain memories fade!)
ReplyDeleteThis is a very intriguing poem to read and imagine. Interesting form. I loved it, Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteWell, we have to compliment your flow and style.
ReplyDeleteDerivative as they may be! (Grin.)
Delete"pain slowly made plain."...Specially when a meaning is deciphered :)
ReplyDelete"Darkness is vast; words lengthen in silence, attenuate.
New shapes cast new meaning, pain slowly made plain."...My favorite part.
Long may you write - either long or short..it's all good!
ReplyDeletelove the opening stanza... just beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteInteresting rhyme scheme that works. It's fun to play around with form and here, you've have done it well.
ReplyDeletethisreally captures one's imagination! well written
ReplyDelete'Darkness is vast; words lengthen in silence, attenuate. New shapes cast new meaning, pain slowly made plain'.. this is so powerful!
ReplyDeletePain does alter our conception of things. Writing about it in verse or prose is quite a task as the reader doesn't know whether to sympathise or merely relate it to their own. I really like the way the poem grips the reader to feel the pain themself.
ReplyDeleteI love this style very much. Very inspiring. Sometimes we need longer poems to express long kept silence...
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your use of form, rhyme and repition here, Rosemary...certainly, pain is a recurrent fact of our lives, and appears as such in your verse.
ReplyDeleteSteve K.
i've encountered the Ghazal nice now that you have offered the quasi ghazal, Rosemary and yes personal pain is a subject i think we at some stage in our writing shy away from because we dont wish to go through the process again
ReplyDeletemuch love...
I think it is not the length of a poem, but the depth of the words. You have captured remnants of pain in your words. A unique poem for today!
ReplyDeleteI really like the second stanza about the coming rain.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautifully done, Rosemary!
ReplyDeleteKnowing pain is a constant reminder one is not alone. Pain can be reflected in a relationship that is hungry for love!
ReplyDeleteHank
Very interesting form.....nicely done!
ReplyDeleteWell done! Again.
ReplyDeleteZQ
Interesting form! Whether it is physical, mental, or spiritual pain - we do not choose to go back there. I know I do not choose to think of past pain. Although after I had my surgery for cancer and had the vomits for a whole day, I'll look back on that and compare the present with the past - I'll say, at least I'm not vomiting with a new hysterectormy! We are funny critters sometimes.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done!
ReplyDeletePhysical pain and psychic pain. Both have their place and acceptance in our lives, especially as we age. I enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteI admire your experiment with the form while tackling a difficult subject!
ReplyDeleteStellar job on this piece. This is a truly perceptive articulation of 'pain' ... a challenging theme (I would imagine, though I have not yet tried) to get from 'feeling' to 'page'. 'Darkness is vast; words lengthen in silence, attenuate' ... really impactful.
ReplyDeleteReally long poems are very painful to someone like me who has a short attention span:)
ReplyDeleteIsn't is "funny" that we have to explain that the speaker in a poem we write is not necessarily us?
ReplyDeleteI think it would once have been understood, but with all the confessional and autobiographical stuff around nowadays, it is often assumed that they all are. (And indeed,many of mine are.) I just thought I'd get in first this time, instead of having to reassure several kind-hearted readers individually!
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