I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world, to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')

These poems are works in progress and may be updated without notice. Nevertheless copyright applies to all writings here and all photos (which are either my own or used with permission). Thank you for your comments. I read and appreciate them all, and reply here to specific points that seem to need it — or as I have the leisure. Otherwise I reciprocate by reading and commenting on your blog posts as much as possible.

30 August 2017

Fallen

Will you not come,
lonely and broken,
to drink from my eyes
the love you are craving,
to receive from my hands
a softness like flowers?

I thought you would. I thought 
I could touch you, gaze on you, 
give you enfolding,
a caress like sleep
or the fragrance of roses
inhaled gently.

But then you let me see
the hard light of your stare,
let me hear the cold 
in your careless laugh.
The mask fallen can't be replaced.
It is I who am broken, lonely.


(Not directly autobiographical. An experiment in style as much as anything else.)

Linked to Poets United's Poetry Pantry #369

35 comments:

  1. Much enjoyed, thank you Rosemary. The form gives the poem a strong (heart)beat and makes me want to read it again.

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  2. I've seen this. Such a(N) _______ awakening. (who knows the words)

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  3. It's an experiment that went very well!

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  4. I like this poem. However, it makes me think as well that a relationship with a 'lonely and broken' (needy) person - though it may seem like a good thing initially - would never really be a positive thing. Perhaps it is good that the "hard light" of the "stare" was seen & the relationship went no further. Perhaps "lonely" is preferable. In any case, Rosemary, though the poem is not autobiographical, it is one that makes the reader FEEL.

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    1. Yes, I agree. It grew partly out of a conversation about such relationships.

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  5. If not autobiographical it still reads from the heart

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    1. While not specifically autobiographical, I have known disillusionment in people from time to time.

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  6. I like this. The experiment works. It also draws us into that subject matter delicately. The mask. Who doesn't wear one? How do we responded when it drops.Well penned and thought provoking.

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  7. It is good to experiment in many ways. One gets more adept at it to eventually gain more insights!

    Hank

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  8. You have captured 'that moment' extremely well. Thanks for sharing.

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  9. You have captured well the hidden facets of a toxic relationship. Sigh.."But then you let me see the hard light of your stare, let me hear the cold in your careless laugh.
    The mask fallen can't be replaced" I know this story much too well. Powerfully written.

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  10. A fine read, the ultimate line certainly resonates.

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  11. A mask fallen can't be replaced.. so true, we cannot unsee what we have seen!

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  12. How many of us have gone through the same scenario in real life, how good as poets we can gain something from such a relationship by writing about it so it is not all bad.

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  13. Very apt.....when authentic love is offered toone unable to receive or honour the gift. I have been there, so this poem resonates. You truly captured it, Rosemary.

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  14. This speaks to me, as one person's need might not always match the other person's need. Maybe many love stories end in just not communicating enough

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  15. An intriguing poem, Rosemary. Truly, sometimes our love and trust freely given is rebuffed and we are the ones left in need.

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  16. I'm in love with the first stanza, especially the first 3 lines. They make the heartbreak at the end worth suffering.

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    1. I'd love to see where a Magaly poem would go from those first three lines!

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  17. I think your experiment worked, as i started reading, im telling myself, there is some deliberate form involved though i don't it. But i enjoyed the offering, the contemplation and the retrospect.

    Much love...

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    1. Not really a form, except insofar as I like to make verses the same length even in (otherwise) free verse. More that I was adopting a different style of writing from my usual, more lyrical and highly-coloured.

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  18. This is painful but beautiful to read.

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  19. This was so beautiful and delicate created that the heartbreak at the end seemed all the more poignant.

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  20. I think your experiment worked well. Although I thought of Selene while reading this!

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  21. I feel it ...your experiment well done!

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  22. Ah yes - that point at which the mask slips, and someone that you held in high regard, reveals that they are not what you believed them to be. Always a chilling fork in the road of a relationship. An awesome job on this one!

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  23. The search for an authentic soul. Well done, Rosemary.

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  24. Beautiful! It seemed to come as a whisper.

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  25. It is I who am broken, lonely.

    The poem is beautiful, but this last line I could relate to not so long back.

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  26. Such openness leads to a larger all. You truly capture the line where we brake/break.

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  27. Maybe it's not such a bad idea to let our masks fall...

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