I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world,
to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')

These poems are works in progress and may be updated without notice. Nevertheless copyright applies to all writings here and all photos (which are either my own or used with permission). Thank you for your comments. I read and appreciate them all, and reply here to specific points that seem to need it — or as I have the leisure. Otherwise I reciprocate by reading and commenting on your blog posts as much as possible.

16 May 2014

Tilus for a Friend


Text from my friend: cancer
surgery

now.



Sunny autumn morning
clouds over

fast.



The tall tree by the fence
unchecked weed

grew.


Each of the above can stand alone. Also they work as a sequence, and that works in whatever order you read them.  They appear in the order they were written.

The tilus is a form invented by Kelvin S.M.  At dVerse just now we're asked to give it a try. The tilus is supposed to be about nature, but I found it also worked well for the thing uppermost in my mind at present (see first stanza above).  Then the nature ones I tried reflected the same mood, like an oblique commentary on the first. I realised I had not only a series of separate poems but also a connected sequence.  Then I noticed that the sequence worked in any order.  So all in all a very useful form! 

24 comments:

  1. oh i hope that your friend heals quickly... and we def. have to be careful that the weed stays within certain borders - otherwise it will get a risk for the other plants

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    1. Also her lump went unchecked — the radiologist failed to send biopsy report to doctor three years ago when it was not yet cancerous!

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    2. inexcusable, and
      she pays the
      price

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  2. those worries and those weeds
    they don't stop

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  3. Most certainly a sad, heart-gripping sequence: very poignant. Fingers crossed for your friend, Rosemary.

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  4. Oh, I hope your friend gets better, Rosemary. No worries about the theme not being aligned with nature. You still managed to make fine Tiluses & I'm proud. This form is totally a stranger in poetry world but i'm thrilled by the responses at dverse. It seemed everyone is liking it & i'm so happy. Btw, Tiluses could most probably the plural form of Tilus. Smiles. Thank you, Rosemary..

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  5. I agree with you that the form works with the things that are uppermost in our minds as well as with nature themes. Thus the first one speaks to us as well, if not more, than the other two. Maybe because text messages have taught us to be succinct and to the point.

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    1. There's a bit of poetic licence there. She actually sent me a long email (but that was one syllable too many).

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  6. 'unchecked weed'...most dangerous....'unchecked' does become the cause of the menace...a poignant write Rosemary...hope your friend gets well soon..

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  7. got to keep an eye on those weeds...they will take over...now if it would just stop raining i really would cut the grass...smiles....i think the firm is quite versatile in subject...its a fun one to play with...hope that friend comes through surgery ok

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  8. How tragic to read the news ~ I like the use of unchecked weeds too to relate to cancer growing ~ Well done with the form, smiles ~

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  9. Ah yes, the form can be used to address many subjects. Hope your friend's cancer surgery was successful. I like Grace's idea of the weeds as cancer growing perhaps...

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    1. Yes, that metaphor was entirely intentional. :)

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  10. Clouds and weed.. such great metaphors for sorrow and worries .. I would almost prefer them with that one as the last one -

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  11. cancer and un-checked weeds...the one is such a powerful metaphor for the other. Hope your friend can overcome!

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  12. Wonderful expression of all that we feel when something like that happens so suddenly. Effective metaphor, Rosemary. I like how you incorporated nature.

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  13. Thanks to all for your concern for my friend. She came through the surgery well. After a month's recovery she will have radiotherapy. Apparently chemo will not be necessary.

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  14. They are all strong writing, but the three together are devastating. Thank you for sharing them.

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  15. yes, cancer is the unwanted weed - the message that life sometimes comes with a fight.

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  16. I thought I was going to be clever and compare cancer to unwanted weed, but see I'm too late to do that... This is a very touching set of Tiluses (what is a tilus in plural form called?)! And I hope your friend gets better soon!

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    1. I'm just glad everybody picked up on the weed thing, as it was intentional. :) Kelvin, who invented the tilus, says the plural is tiluses.

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  17. Your poems seem so much more sad when read together, rather than stand-alone. The first poem smacked me right back to being diagnosed with melanoma. My dermatologist rearranged her schedule to remove it then. I was lucky and your first poem gave me a chance to reflect and be grateful.

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    1. Yes, you're right; they are really meant ti be read together. I'm glad things turned out all right for you!

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