1. Motorist’s
Lament
A narrow road, a mob
of cyclists —
Curse!
Double lines,
must not pass
go.
Slow up the hill, behind
chug, clatter
squeak.
All those tight, bright bottoms
in my face
eww!
2. Pedestrian’s
Lament
“Easy as riding a
bike” — but I
can’t.
Nervous little mother
insisted
not.
When I got to fifteen
new schoolmates
tried.
Lunch-time lessons each day
in the lane
but.
You leave some things too late —
forever
lost.
lost.
I fell in love with this three-line form (used for a dVerse prompt in previous post) and decided to use it again for Poets United's Bicycling prompt, creating two chains (how appropriate for cycles, lol).
It is indeed, appropriate. I thought about the bike prompt all week, trying to come up with something unique for the subject by way of form. You did it!
ReplyDeleteFortuitous that I was reminded of the tilus in time. :)
DeleteSuch delightful, sly humour in the first one, but for me there is some sad truth in the second sequence. It sounds a little bit like my younger son (only it is his own nervousness rather than mine that is delaying his cycling progress).
ReplyDeleteMy mUm's nervousness when I was a young chid; by the time I was 15, I think it was really my own.
DeleteAh, I share with some of these lament. I like what you with the form & the prompt here, Rosemary.. and wow.. you have no idea how happy i am today with all these responses... thank you my friend.. btw, i did send a mail to shadow poetry as you suggested before but they seemed no longer active.. since i haven't got any response from them for like 2 weeks now? anyway, thanks again for refering the site... i got to learn a lot from there.. smiles..
ReplyDeleteYes — sadly, that useful resource does seem to have stopped adding new forms.
DeleteI am still grinning...you've used the form so nicely to capture these gems...love the second portion too..
ReplyDeleteha. there are quite a few times here i get stuck behind the bikes...so i hear you there...it def takes more work the older you get to accomplish or learn some things...
ReplyDeleteI like your anti bike tiluses.
ReplyDeleteHa.. I might have to write a pro-bike tilus... :-) But I do understand you.,
ReplyDeletehaha smiles... you know i'm a biker and you can feel the car driver's nervousness when they get stuck behind you... patience.. patience...smiles
ReplyDeleteBoth posts of Tiluses are great Rosemary...one could write hundreds for the variety and scope.
ReplyDeletewonderful chains here! Perhaps your next one should be a cyclist's lament! :-)
ReplyDeleteI think someone else will have t write that one!
DeleteRosemary, you have me grinning and these responses had me laughing out loud. Your first sequence speaks my mind! And then Claudia is right grr, patience, patience, grr. The second is a little outside my experience, unless I change the subject to ballet and tap dance. This form really works for you, linage and all. Brevity = wit.
ReplyDeleteDelightful, Rosemary!
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud at all those tight bright bottoms......I feel exactly the same way. Loved these, Rosemary!
ReplyDeleteFun sequencing, Rosemary. Especially those tight butts. Ha. I think Kelvin's for fits a number of us especially well.
ReplyDeleteI had fun reading them too ~ I can relate to the motorist lament, ha ~
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely weekend ~
I too can relate to the motorist's lament. The bicycles in Belgium scared me in their fearlessness....trusting without paying heed of anything, and cars are so much heavier than they are.
ReplyDeleteYou did it perfectly Rosemary! Each with their laments and all are valid! Agreed Tilus is contagious, might also use it sometime later! Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteHank
must be all the spandex :) - fun poems
ReplyDeleteFunny!
ReplyDelete