I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world,
to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')

These poems are works in progress and may be updated without notice. Nevertheless copyright applies to all writings here and all photos (which are either my own or used with permission). Thank you for your comments. I read and appreciate them all, and reply here to specific points that seem to need it — or as I have the leisure. Otherwise I reciprocate by reading and commenting on your blog posts as much as possible.

5 April 2014

Since You Left

Life goes on, and that's the trouble. 
You never saw the four new pictures on the wall,
the ones I love the most. You never met
all the new friends I've made these last 18 months,
and the new next-door neighbour. I know
you could not have imagined the various new
directions I'd take, the old I would abandon.

You must have thought I'd stay
right where you left me — but stuff keeps happening, 
and even the cats have made their adjustments.
We have different routines now, becoming habits,
new, unexpected ways of doing our lives.
Who ever thought I'd be so independent?
You, perhaps — stepping back and allowing for it.

You told me I could do it, and I do.
You, my greatest cheer-leader, had no doubt.
But me, I seldom thought beyond your end.
It was getting us both through those hard days
that occupied me then. I forgot
that laughter could come again, and books
I'd love to read, and new poems.

And it's all good, as they say. Except when it's not.
I have so much abundant love in my life,
I should be ashamed of ever complaining. And yet
you are not here and never will be again in this life.
Don't tell me you're still with me in spirit! I know,
but it isn't the same. It's ordinary you I want to talk to
about the cats and pictures and books; that you I want to hug.

Since you left, I do this crazy thing.
I talk to you in my head. When I'm alone, I do it
out loud, and the cats understand, or at least don't question.
But it's you who have stayed where you were
when we said goodbye. You do not accompany me
on the rest of this journey; I'm going it alone.
And it sucks, do you hear me? It fucking sucks!


April PAD Challenge 2014, day 4: "Since —" (and fill in the blank).

14 comments:

  1. some would give up, cease to grow, you have not. you have a destiny yet to fulfill. It may indeed suck but that's life and you choose to live it so well.

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    1. Thank you. I do my best — as flawed as most people's best ... and with lots of help from the Universe, often in the guise of other people. :)

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  2. Wonderful poem Rosemary and hugs to you as you journey on this next chapter.

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    1. Hugs and compliment gratefully received!

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  3. A wonderful poem, Rosemary. So full of emotion. Big (((hugs))) to you . . .

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  4. Unbelievably (but for the fact that it was written by you) compelling poem - I feel as though I'm inside your skin right down to those last lines! Bravo!

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    1. Thank you! This one compelled me, I think.

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  5. Rosemary, it could not be said any better.

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    1. Thanks, Sherry. Hopefully it is now said once and for all.

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  6. Hugs! Amazingly sad. Thanks for sharing it.

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  7. Fantastic! So authentic. xxxxx Jen

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