I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world,
to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')


These poems are works in progress, and may be subject to revision without notice. Completed versions appear in my books. Nevertheless copyright applies to all texts found here.

29 October 2011

Streams of Consciousness

high above ocean 
on this piece of the hill
this peaceful hill

always had to
sit up straighter
speak when spoken

the little girls playing
across the road
laugh together

she had a language
of private gestures
quick faces made

in the yard opposite
swings and guinea-pigs
crowd 

cross your legs
at the ankles
don’t laugh out loud

expansive sunlight fills
the wide circle
of the cul-de-sac

that’s dangerous
unladylike
don’t be silly

Amanda yells to her kids
her smile is wide
her stance open

grown awkward
I returned home 
less and less often

at night I gaze
from my vantage
the street rests unafraid



For a dVerse exercise on conflation: expanding one poem with another which is unrelated. I chose to weave my two threads in and out of each other. I’m not sure it’s a true conflation; it could be said that there’s a relationship of contrast. And of course the title is slightly ironic; this is not a 'stream of consciousness' poem in the usual sense.

14 comments:

  1. I love this: "she had a language
    of private gestures"

    arbitrarymeaning.blogspot.com

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  2. Yes, you did it. I read where they are in your poem. And, what a dandy of a poem it is. A very nice write.

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  3. nice...i follow your threads through and definitely see the difference...living under constraint, even well intentioned, i feel you...nicely done...

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  4. Thanks, guys. I'm so glad you feel it works. It's a technique I plan to use again, now that I've learned about it.

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  5. "she had a language
    of private gestures
    quick faces made" loved it, and this one too
    "at night I gaze
    from my vantage
    the street rests unafraid"

    ~Mohana

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  6. very nice job rosemary - i think you did well

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  7. Certainly works Rosemary - very good.

    Anna :o]

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  8. Yes, I think you pulled it off too. The difference between being told what is 'ladylike' and being free (as an adult then) to do as one pleases.
    Very nice piece.

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  9. It works for me... A lovely, thought-provoking piece of writing, great example of conflation.

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  10. Very nicely done, I really enjoyed this poem.

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  11. Very well done--you took the prompt and made it your own. Lovely. K.

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  12. The picture you paint with your words has colour and clarity.
    I love the simple stanza structure, it adds beautifully to the simplicity, and as you read the story slowly comes into sharp focus.
    Wonderful!

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  13. Beautiful. I like "the street rests unafraid." Interesting to think about streets that DO have fear. There are probably many that do in this age.

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  14. Thank you Mary. Yes, I think many people must sleep at least a little uneasily these days.

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