I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world, to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')

These poems are works in progress and may be updated without notice. Nevertheless copyright applies to all writings here and all photos (which are either my own or used with permission). Thank you for your comments. I read and appreciate them all, and reply here to specific points that seem to need it — or as I have the leisure. Otherwise I reciprocate by reading and commenting on your blog posts as much as possible.

7 October 2011

Friday 7 Oct. 2011

cold morning
woken too early
restless cats

my man wakes
demands the time
back to sleep

get up feed the cats
I’m awake
the cats are resting

#haiku #senryu lune#

Submitted for dVerse FormForAll prompt: Haiku and Senryu 
OK I snuck in a lune as well. I like lunes. And I should add for new readers that these days, like many contemporary haikuists, 
I favour short/long/short lines over 5/7/5.

By -

22 comments:

  1. zongrik7 October 2011 at 07:44

    LOL that's cats for you

    ReplyDelete
  2. chromapoesy.com7 October 2011 at 09:07

    Yes, I used to have cats, rascals!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Geoff M. Pope7 October 2011 at 09:29

    I especially like the senryu with its light jolting humor. The "man" in "demands" especially caught my attention.

    ReplyDelete
  4. hedgewitch7 October 2011 at 09:34

    Very lighthearted.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rosemary Nissen-Wade7 October 2011 at 09:36

    Yes, wasn't that clever of me, Geoff? LOL it was accidental or maybe subconscious! But now that you've pointed it out, I'm glad it works that way. :)

    (What I was trying to do with that one was use 'time' as a pivot word.)

    Dear zongrik and chromapoesy, always gad to meet fellow cat-appreciators.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Natasha7 October 2011 at 10:11

    Colour me a crazy cat lady...(my hubby is presently keeping me from the throne...for now!) but your first one stole my heart. All are smart and sharp...but you knew that! ;) Much enjoyed my visit, and I humbly bow to a master of the form. (don't even try to deny it!)

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Cello Strings7 October 2011 at 10:26

    wow.

    cute.

    ReplyDelete
  8. eclipsingwinter7 October 2011 at 10:43

    Isn't that the way it always works? Clever and incredibly well crafted (in my humble opinion).

    Beth

    ReplyDelete
  9. Fred7 October 2011 at 11:59

    Such a universal scene for cat owners-Very nicely done

    ReplyDelete
  10. Brian Miller7 October 2011 at 14:13

    my cat gets me up way too early...she runs across the pillows...i feel you in this...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Rosemary Nissen-Wade7 October 2011 at 14:40

    Thank you everyone for the kind comments!

    Dear Natasha, what if I deny it obliquely? I could truthfully say I'm a perpetual student of the form. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Claudia7 October 2011 at 14:58

    this somehow spoke to me...it's 6 am here...i woke up at 5 (not by sth. nice and playful as a cat though...just by the alarm on my iphone...smiles) , it's cold and i didn't even have a coffee so far...been reading haikus...smiles...enjoyed yours rosemary

    ReplyDelete
  13. inaweblogisback7 October 2011 at 20:14

    Lovely, cats are great too :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Heaven8 October 2011 at 00:14

    enjoyed the early morning cats poem...

    my share is here:
    http://everydayamazin.blogspot.com/2011/10/thoughts.html

    ReplyDelete
  15. anglachel278 October 2011 at 02:27

    Thanks for introducing me to the lune. Very playful here.
    Gene

    ReplyDelete
  16. Beachanny8 October 2011 at 02:52

    I like that you have brought your experience and knowledge to this exposition of the form. I have been writing these a while, but have to admit I had not done an in depth study of the forms until now. The deeper one gets, the more one understands it's almost impossible to get a true haiku being outside that agrarian society with its own cultural and spiritual references. So we do what we do and what you did here--we make it personal, we write it concisely, and we try to let the images expand the understanding. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  17. benjity8 October 2011 at 08:14

    Very good, very true - but it's my dog! (:
    http://www.benjity.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. JANU8 October 2011 at 18:13

    Men and cats...both demand your time. Nice.

    http://janukulkarni.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  19. tinkwelborn9 October 2011 at 01:00

    Whoo! sounds like a morning where I need 3 quick cups o Joe.

    sounds like only the cats gained from all of this...LOL

    thank you. just learned what a lune is.

    I have so much to learn and so little time!!

    thanks for posting.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Rosemary Nissen-Wade9 October 2011 at 07:27

    I really appreciate you all having a look and taking time to comment. Dear Beachanny and tinkwellborn, we are all always learning, I think, especially with this deceptively simple yet very challenging form. Another hakuist (or hajin) has just suggested to me that in general only one break in syntax works better for haiku than the more fragmented two breaks as I have in these ... and I think he's right.

    ReplyDelete
  21. liv2write2day29 October 2011 at 12:01

    Your cats...my dogs! Gotta love it.

    ReplyDelete
  22. wolfsrosebud30 October 2011 at 01:38

    so cool if we could command time back to sleep...

    ReplyDelete

Comments are moderated and will be visible after being approved by the blog owner. If you can only comment anonymously, please include your name in the comment, just so I know who's talking to me.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)