At Mariner's Café

We like to call in here

on the way home from Kingscliff

or even Tweed Heads (a detour) to catch up

with our friend, the new manager

– and the coffee’s good.

So is the view of the river.

In late afternoon sun,

we sit back, leaning on the wall

of the antique shop next door.

I peer inside at nets and creels, ropes, 

huge balls of deep green glass, 

and steering-wheels in dark, polished wood.

I want to meet him, the shop owner,

to yarn with him and sniff the salty air –

this man who so loves boats. Our friend

wipes down our table. Another customer,

loud-mouthed, at last vacates. ‘That’s the man

from the shop,’ our friend mutters. We all grimace.

5/8/16

At dVerse, in 'Let's Kick it Up a Notch', we are invited to improve an old draft, perhaps by adding more detail (result above). A novel idea to me – I usually try to condense. But the original of this was already spare, and always seemed to me lack-lustre. Here it is, below. You can see that it's been waiting a long time for me to find a way to improve it. I think that Victoria, at dVerse, has finally shown me how.

Mariner’s Cafe

Late afternoon sun.

We sit back against the wall

by the antique shop.

In the shop I’ve seen

nets and creels and green glass balls,

ropes and steering-wheels.

I want to meet him,

to yarn and sniff the salt air –

this man who loves boats.

Steve wipes the table

as a noisy yob vacates.

‘That’s the man,” he says.

6/6/05