I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world, to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')

These poems are works in progress and may be updated without notice. Nevertheless copyright applies to all writings here and all photos (which are either my own or used with permission). Thank you for your comments. I read and appreciate them all, and reply here to specific points that seem to need it — or as I have the leisure. Otherwise I reciprocate by reading and commenting on your blog posts as much as possible.

31 May 2016

Sufficiency

Icy night,
although days 
from winter.

To hold 
warmth close …
but mind
must match.

I am 
who can 
companion me.

Heavy blanket, 
hot bottles, 
toy teddy –
warm enough.
Process notes:
An erasure poem – but  the source was my own first draft, which wasn't working, and I'm not going to share it with you. In fact I haven't kept it. Doing the erasure, I found myself in a game of keeping only two words per line. (Then I did rearrange some a little.) Finally worked on it a bit more, thanks to suggestions from the excellent Pearl Pirie, see Comments.

 Linked to Gillena Cox's Monday WRites and also to the current Tuesday Platform at 'imaginary garden with real toads
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9 comments:

  1. Pearl31 May 2016 at 09:10

    nice and succinct. you could probably cut start to "cold night and cut "I bring to bed"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rosemary Nissen-Wade31 May 2016 at 09:31

      Thanks, Pearl. Good suggestions. But then I might make it 'freezing night', I think, as nights so close to winter get cold anyway, but this one was extreme. I'll let your suggestions percolate a while; probably will follow them. :-)

      Delete
    2. Rosemary Nissen-Wade31 May 2016 at 09:44

      Actually, that was a very quick percolate! Thanks again. Much better now.

      Delete
  2. Gillena Cox31 May 2016 at 10:12

    I'm not familiar with the erasure poem
    I will have to research it.
    However I like the fact that the "icy night" and its consequences flow through each verse

    Thanks Rosemar, for linking and sharing your mood at Monday WRites

    Much love...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thylacine X31 May 2016 at 15:51

    What remains is sufficient. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. debi1 June 2016 at 20:42

    "but mind must match" that is important. Nicely done

    ReplyDelete
  5. brudberg2 June 2016 at 04:51

    To cut it down is a great way of getting to the core... that teddy is most adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Marian2 June 2016 at 20:24

    Well! This is just profound:

    I am
    who can
    companion me.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Outlawyer5 June 2016 at 11:32

    Ah sweet and sad. No one else goes all the way with you, but one is aware here of the difficulty and nobility of it. Thanks .k.

    ReplyDelete

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