I ... entered the poem of life, whose purpose is ... simply to witness the beauties of the world,
to discover the many forms that love can take. (Barabara Blackman in 'Glass After Glass')


These poems are works in progress, and may be subject to revision without notice. Completed versions appear in my books. Nevertheless copyright applies to all texts found here.

27 November 2012

Across the Morning


Across the morning of another day
she walked in silence, not because of thought
but so that she could hear the birds at play
and for a time unlearn what she'd been taught.

'Duty can go to hell,' she said 
inside her mind. 'Responsibility
be damned. Those birds know
what matters: to fly and sing.'

A moment only. Common sense resumes.
The deeper self, the rebel self — will she
in hiding grow to wake and re-emerge
across the morning of another day?


Form: Dorsimbra
Description: This form was created by people associated with Sol’s Magazine. 
The form is a set of three quatrains:
A Sicilian quatrain (four lines iambic pentameter rhymed abab),
A quatrain of “short and snappy” free verse, and
A quatrain of blank verse (unrhymed iambic pentameter).
The twelfth line is the same as the first.
Attributed to: Eve Braden, Frieda Dorris and Robert Simonton

Submitted for dVerse OpenLinkNight #72

33 comments:

  1. Ha! Love it! Oh yes, re-emerge and fly and sing...

    ReplyDelete
  2. walking in silence to hear the birds and to unlearn what she'd been taught...i like much...we need these moments to re-think life and may get ready for entering new paths..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Claudia, for your thoughtful comment.

      Delete
  3. Oh the desire to fly is always with me...and there are times duty can go to hell. Love this!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This was fantastic. I was on the beach with you and I could feel the "screw it!" rebellious attitude aiming for freedom. Nicely done. Interesting form.

    Do you have a link to take us to a site that discusses the form and where it was created etc? (following)

    [PS -- thanx for being to come out and agree on my blog -- did you take the poll?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually it was all fictional, but I'm so glad it convinced you!

      No, sorry, all I know about the form is what is printed above, which I found somewhere when browsing.

      Didn't see poll; will have another look.

      Delete
    2. Ah, great fiction. Too bad it is not true -- it must be 'true' in part of your heart.

      As I looked around for the form source, all I saw was people quoting the same stuff. But after some foot work I did find something:

      Eve Braden was born in 1928 in Tennesse and indeed did invent this form. Here is a book published by her: "Dorsimbra II"(1978)

      You can see her other works here.

      Delete
    3. Ah well, I have always said that fact and truth are not necessarily the same thing and that fiction can be truer. :)

      Good detective work!

      Delete
  5. smiles...sounds like she has found a bit of wisdom in the wild...there is much to be gleened there...from the birds...very cool verse...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Brian. Yes, I believe nature in general is full of lessons for us if we care to pay attention.

      Delete
  6. Lots of layers here to move the stanzas...very natural feel to your rhythms here. It takes the reader where you want to go. Nice job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently iambic pentameter is the natural rhythm of English speech, so it's easy for us English-speakers to use. The only danger is that it can get a bit sing-song. I like the variations throughout this form.

      Delete
  7. Hoping that the deeper self, the rebel self DOES in fact emerge. I enjoyed this poetry form!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it's a nice form to work with. Just that bit different.

      Delete
  8. I, too, share this rebellious spirit whole-heartedly! Nice write Rosemary!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha, it seems we're all on the side of the rebellious spirit! Sabio is quite right in that it's my inner truth, even though the details of the poem are fictional.

      Delete
  9. Oh, I hope so. This 'message' cuts across time and age....and is as viable at any age, time.

    Very nice....

    Lady Nyo

    ReplyDelete
  10. I just love this, the whole meaning behind it. It seems life is a balancing act between awareness and responsibility. The form works so well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your understanding, Victoria. I always hope to convey the universal through the particular.

      I think — after only this one attempt at this form! — that hitting on the right first line is a key,

      Delete
  11. First: "Sabio sent me" and I'm glad he did--have enjoyed reading and thinking about "Across the Morning".

    Like how you went full circle from common-sense self to deeper/rebel self back to common-sense and ended with a repeat of your opening sentence. Very successful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for coming! I'm glad you like it. I enjoy playing with form now and again, and it's amazing what different forms can produce.

      Delete
  12. I love the walking in silence to hear the birds, and their knowing what's important. Great write, kiddo!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Even in a form-poem your beauty shines through.

    We have 2 parakeets and I can relate to the just flying and singing for the love of life.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  14. I hope her rebel self does emerge and takes back control of her oh-so-controlled life.
    Really enjoyed this. Thanks for the visit. My fingers have now returned to normal from being frozen from shoveling. A warmer climate sounds good to me :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hoe you need do no more shovelling! Glad you enjoyed this piece.

      Delete
  15. I wish she'd carried on after the second stanza...a definite pity she had to come back to common sense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you ‚ but these fictional characters have minds of their own.

      Delete
  16. I could really relate to your poem. Well done.

    ReplyDelete