I want to write a haibun. I am excited. I fetch bread and cheese, and coffee. I think I'll sit on my front veranda overlooking the pretty street, to gaze at trees and sky and the dark blue mountains beyond the houses. Then I know – I can't sit there now. I used to sit there with Levi, my beautiful old black cat. He is not here any more, and now I can't sit there again, where we used to sit together.
Why not? He could. He could after his sister Freya was gone, even when I didn't come out there with him. He liked the spot. All those times I used to sit out there with two of them – and before that three, when our man was alive. First Andrew went, and we sat without him, missing him but having each other. Then Freya left us, and still Levi and I would sit there, missing them both and consoling each other. Not this time. Not without any consoling presence. I go and sit in the back yard instead, surrounded by my neighbours' trees.
Spring pairings
pigeons on neighbour's roof
flowers in pot
(The pigeons are on the roof, in the centre where the ridgepole drops to a lower level – but you have to look hard.)
Written for dVerse Haibun Monday 1
pigeons on neighbour's roof
flowers in pot
(The pigeons are on the roof, in the centre where the ridgepole drops to a lower level – but you have to look hard.)
Written for dVerse Haibun Monday 1
This is so strong Rosermary,,. the parting and the loneliness.. the space the loved one leaves.. a void. Still that backyard looks lovely. Hope you can find a time to sit there in the front... The shade in the backyard will be a blessing in summer though.. but in spring you want to seek that sun. I like the haiku a lot too.
ReplyDeleteSo sad. I hope the neighbour's trees and pigeons were some comfort.
ReplyDeletea beautiful haibun filled with emotion...love the haiku so much...
ReplyDeleteThis speaks to me and will speak to many. Only, sometimes, it may be like they are with you as you pass the sad spot!
ReplyDeleteSometimes we have to choose
ReplyDeleteTo sit in the place that constantly reminds us of loss
Or to surround ourselves with life
Oh.. for me his name is Elwood... a gray and white
ReplyDeletetuxedo.. for years in trenches of heartless work is my..
connection to the heart of love that lives inside of me..
Only his touch will bring that warm feeling of Love again..
he is not an inside cat.. not even ours.. he comes and
goes and spreads love.. and when he goes for good..
i wait for him at the door of my patio.. and remember
he is gone for good and i feel lonely inside.. i cannot
bear the thought of another cat.. but what i learn after
that when i repress my emotional tears too much is
i lose the ability to love at all.. and i will never ever
grieve too much.. over the loss of anyone not to love
someone else.. whether tree.. dog.. cat.. or blade of
grass my friend.. the more we Love the more we're Love..:)
Blades of grass
loving cats
alive as Grass
Yes, grief is the price we pay for love, and the love is worth the price. And yes again, 'the more we Love the more we're Love'. Well said. Thank you!
DeleteAnd let me add, you brought Elwood alive in this piece of writing.
DeleteThank you! my friend Rosemary..:)
DeleteThe sadness and emptiness of loss are powerfully conveyed by your haibun, Rosemary. I hope there comes a day when you can sit there again.
ReplyDeleteVery poignant.
ReplyDeleteThe loss and the grieving are resonating in your verses ~ It is not overdone though but speaks of moving forward and greeting a new season - that is spring ~
ReplyDeleteA lovely haibun , thank you~
Yes. I completely relate. I no longer can walk the trails or go to the river where Pup and I went every afternoon. Just cant be there without him. Sigh. Beautiful and poignant, Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteRosemary, I am glad that you still sit! That is the most important thing in the end.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad, but a very nice haibun. I hope some day you will be able to sit once again on the veranda and just remember fondly those who are now gone. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteThis is so very poignant. I do not think I could sit there any more myself. So much grief in such tightly controlled words. But felt, deeply felt. Spencer is Kanzensakura.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, that's tough, Rosemary. I don't blame you for going to the backyard. But I have faith that you'll be able to return to that lovely spot someday without too much wistfulness.
ReplyDeleteOh, this pulled at my heart... so poignant and filled with life's truths. And I love the way your ending pulls it up somehow, in another direction.
ReplyDeleteLovely and so sad Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteLoss upon loss and we sometimes have to find the beauty from a different view than we used to. You've depicted that beautifully here.
ReplyDeleteAh, it's sad and how it's hard to do familiar things, but at different place without our closest ones....changes are inevitable... and your haiku shows the way...
ReplyDelete